Undeniable Attraction
by Schnickledooger
Summary: Cesia is convinced there is more between the three Dragon Knights than mere friendship. She has suspicions about the Dragon Officers as well, but has no evidence so far. Oh how conversations can be taken out of context entirely…


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Dragon Knights. Mineko Ohmaki does.

**Summary: **Cesia is convinced there is more between the three Dragon Knights than mere friendship. She has suspicions about the Dragon Officers as well, but has no evidence so far. Oh how conversations can be taken out of context entirely…

**A/N: **Hmm, I suppose I should add an OOC warning here (yes, more than my usual crazy too, scary, isn't it?).

**Undeniable Attraction**

Cesia supposed it all started when she overheard Thatz and Rune talking while she was she was in the Dragon Castle's library mulling over a book entitled _Spells And The Power Within Yourself. _She was in the process of ripping the pages out in one viscous tear-fest (due to the book proclaiming on page 321, paragraph 2 that anyone who could not find the strength to bring their spells under self-control to please first thoroughly study the book's companions, _An Idiot's Guide to Spells_ or _Learning the Basics of Spells For Dummies and Dimwits_). The girl halted her mad tirade against the helpless volume when she heard the sound of two pairs of footsteps enter the library and recognized the Earth and Water Dragon Knights' voices. That was all she needed—for the Dragon Knights to see her mutilating property of the Dragon Castle and squeal on her to the Dragon Lord. Well, she didn't think Thatz would (one less book in existence—he'd probably think she was doing the world a favor), but Rune being the good-two-shoes he was most definitely would. So gathering up the torn evidence quickly, she scurried around a tall book-shelf thick with novels and hid out of sight.

And there the conversation that took place unwittingly led way to all the events that henceforth unfolded.

"What book did Alfeegi want us to research again?"

"_McArthur's Field Guide on Fighting Tactics and Techniques_, don't you ever listen, Thatz?"

"Why bother when you just regurgitate everything your idol says 24/7?"

_Thwack!_

"Ow! Geez, lighten up, would you? Why is it always me? You never hit on Rath!"

"You need more discipline than he does! Rath can handle himself, unlike _you_."

Cesia, behind the bookshelf, frowned, wondering what had happened.

"Oh come on. You're not still sore over our last expedition, are you? I said I was sorry! I never meant to put you in that position!"

"You have to learn to think, Thatz! I was in excruciating pain being impaled by that _thing! _Then you go and yank it out so roughly with no regards whatsoever for what I'm feeling at the moment!"

Cesia let out a muffled squeak, aware of her body heat rising significantly.

"What was that?"

"Don't try and change the subject, you ruffian! See, this is how you are. All action and no thought! A one-track minded simpleton who only does what's best for himself! It was a miracle I survived it all!"

"Don't be such a Drama Queen, Rune. Who was the one wanting to try it out so badly in the first place? You pounced on me and Rath and dragged us through the whole mess so don't go crying about how the end result wasn't to your liking!"

Cesia involuntarily clutched the battered book close to her chest, her heart beating so fast, she could hear the blood marching madly to her ears.

"You uncaring jerk! You could have been gentler! A week later and I'm still feeling the after-effects!"

"You seemed to have fun at the beginning at least. You'll see, you'll be begging to go through it again soon!"

"No I won't because I was too sticky in the end!"

_Whump!_

"Okay, seriously, what was that?"

"Let's go, maybe this is Sarazar's new haunting place."

The two Dragon Knights exited the library without looking around for the mysterious sound, which might have been a good thing, otherwise they would have discovered an unconscious Cesia sprawled out on the floor where she had collapsed in a delicious faint, and the ravaged book's remains strewn about her in all its shredded glory.

oOoOoOo

Cesia found herself unable to resist stalking the pair whenever she saw them together, hoping to catch a glimpse of or hear some further snippet of insight to whatever they had been talking about, although her mind had painted her a rather vivid mental image. She wasn't entirely convinced though that that's what had actually transpired. Therefore, she was perfectly entitled to follow them and find out—otherwise she would undoubtedly go mad with curiosity.

It so happened that on one of her daily pursuits of the two that she stumbled across another suspicious encounter.

She had been on one of the verandas on the Dragon Castle's second floor, furiously scouring the grounds below for a sign of Thatz and Rune when a conversation from the veranda below her floated up to her.

"I mean it, Kai-stern! Alfeegi's such a beast! He always lays it into me so hard! Just what exactly does he want me to do? Break into tears? He's such a masochist!"

"Don't feel too pointed out. You're not the only one he lays into. He's rough on me every time I come back from one of my travels. It's as it he wants to leave an impression on me that will last the whole of my next trip."

Cesia's eyes widened as he she realized who was talking. Kai-stern and Ruwalk? And _Alfeegi_?! There couldn't be a possibility of more than one odd couple at the Dragon Castle, could there?

"Something needs to be done! He can't just ride us both this way like he's been doing for the past decade! We should teach him a lesson!"

"What do you want to do? Kidnap him and throw him to Dragon Fighters? They could show him how to have a bit of fun."

Cesia stifled a giddy squeal and did a mad little dance around the balcony.

"It won't work. He'll find out beforehand somehow! He's like that. And then we'll really get it in the worst way imaginable!"

"Maybe we should have a word with the Lykuleon about the man's behavior."

"Ha! Alfeegi has Lykuleon curled right around his little pinkie! He's such a suck-up!"

Cesia, having been leaning as far as she was able over the railing trying to see the scene below, lost her balance at that and toppled face-first over the veranda to the ground below with a silent scream.

Luckily, the Dragon Castle's bushes were thick and cushiony.

oOoOoOo

With the knowledge that there was more going on that what met the eye with much of the male population at the Dragon Castle and the realization she couldn't possibly uncover the truth with herself alone, Cesia decided to initiate co-conspirators into her little scheme.

"So why are we in this 'meeting of top-most secrecy' again?" Kitchel asked, smirking to show she had found Cesia's request rather amusing.

Tintlett, Lim-Kana, Delte, Cernozurna and the Dragon Queen who had all also been summoned shared inquisitive glances.

Cesia scowled at the girl-thief, annoyed that the dramatic mood had now been broken.

"We are here because," she said pacing back and forth in front of everyone, "I have reason to believe that there is more than just friendship running between the men of this palace and I believe, it is our duty as women to unveil any false truths they may be presenting to us!"

There was silence for several seconds as the implication of her words sank in….then Delte spoke up.

"So…what are you saying? That the majority of males here are..."

Cesia nodded vigorously and silence reigned again for several more seconds…before Delte began to smile, and Tintlett and Lim-Kana began to giggle, and Kitchel broke out into hysterical hoots, and Cernozurna and the Dragon Queen stared at her in concern.

"Cesia dear, are you the one by any chance, that keeps lifting the Sparkling Milfy from the kitchen?" Cernozurna asked.

"What? No! You don't believe me?!" Cesia exclaimed outraged.

"Sorry! Haha! That's me!" Kitchel admitted through laughter. "And sometimes Thatz and Kai-stern too!"

"Ooh! Ooh! See!" Cesia cried, growing extremely excited. "It's right under your nose and you can't even recognize it when you see it!"

"You have an over-active imagination, girl," Kitchel stated, getting up from her seat and stretching, ready to leave.

The doors to the room swung shut suddenly by huge gusts of wind and the girl-thief was swiftly swept back into her chair by a forceful gale.

"No one is going anywhere until they hear me out!" Cesia ranted then proceeded to share with everyone what the conversations she had overheard.

"They could have been talking about something else," Delte put in when she had finished, still looking skeptical. "It doesn't have to mean what it sounds like."

"Did you ever consider simply asking them, Cesia?" Raseleane questioned, seemingly not perturbed in the slightest about her husband's relationship with the White Dragon Officer.

"And have them outright deny it to our faces?" Cesia declared. "They're men! They never admit the truth unless someone catches them right in the act! And even then, they'd still try and wiggle out of it!"

"Even if it was true, why would it matter for us to make them say it?" Kitchel asked lazily.

"Helloooooo?!" Cesia cried, waving her hand in front of everyone as if to wake them all up from the spell of stupidity they were under. "Half of these guys claim to be in a semi-relationship with us! If they are…inclined to the other side, then we are all living a bald-faced lie! It is far-more healthy to be in a truthful relationship and obviously, since they appear to have no courage whatsoever to announce it to the world, we shall have it to take it upon ourselves to help them in this feat!"

Cesia neglected to share that she also desperately wished to see some lip-to-lip action and since the men were very discreet about their dalliances, there seemed to be no hope of that unless she drew their dirty laundry out in the open.

"Don't be silly," Tintlett said. "Rune-kun doesn't like boys. He has me!"

"And me!" Lim-Kana echoed.

"Back off, you unwanted interloper!"

"You're just jealous because Rune-sama hasn't given me up! He likes me better!"

"How can he like you better when I'm his true soul-mate?!"

"Dusis, you thick-headed ninnies!" Cesia shrieked, hopping up and down agitated. "Rune is the most effeminate male in the whole Dragon Castle! If anyone's gay it's him! And if he wasn't, I bet he changed sides just for the fact that he's faced with the prospect of being tied down with you two for the rest of his life!"

Alright, so her plan to initiate co-conspirators hadn't gone as well as she had hoped. No one had believed her and the end result of the meeting had been engaging in a violent scuffle with the two main fangirls of the elf's fanclub, coming out of it with wicked claw-marks on her face, and having Cernozurna pack a cold compress on it and say that maybe if she went to be and had a good night's rest it might clear her head.

She could only hope she had instilled a seed of doubt into everyone's minds about the men's dubious demeanor and hope they would watch them with disclosed scrutiny.

oOoOoOo

Kitchel told herself she wasn't tailing Thatz because of the tale-tall Cesia had spun, no. She was merely following him in hopes that he might get the itching fingers and nick something from the palace and try and sell on the Black Market, or that maybe she might catch him skiving off his swordsmanship lesson or Dragon Knight classes and report him to an upper authority and watch him squirm and spew out ridiculous excuses. She didn't know why, but she always got this weird flustered feeling whenever Thatz became incredibly embarrassed and face turned red, making his scars stand out. She assumed she was merely basking in the evil pleasure she had wrought on him—yeah, that had to be it.

Up ahead, Thatz hurried into the Dragon Fighter's Guild and closed the door. Kitchel quickened her pace and crouched down low to peer into one of the windows, wondering why he had gone there since the Dragon Fighters were all in the courtyard where Tetheus was instructing them on how to use their swords

A little voice which sounded suspiciously like Cesia started to laugh crazily in her head.

Kitchel's eye twitched. Great, now she was imagining things that weren't there just like the half-demon girl. Wonderful.

"Thatz, did you bring it?" came another voice from within the guild.

Kitchel squinted trying to see who the owner of it was.

"Yeah, yeah, got it," Thatz said, pulling out a bottle of Sparkling Milfy from under his shirt. "Strange thing though—Cernozurna just handed to me when she saw me hanging around like she knew what I was gonna do. Even stranger, she looked at me kind of funny and asked if everything had worked out between Rune and me."

"Oh, were you two having some trouble?" the other person inquired and now Kitchel could see it was Kai-stern. It looked like she had caught one of their daily drinking parties; nothing so incriminating in that.

"I don't want to talk about it. Rune's being insufferably stubborn! First he practically assaults me and Rath into doing it in the first place then he moans and gripes about it not going the way he planned and blaming me for making it painful for him! It's his fault! He should have lied low like I told him too!"

Kitchel choked and ducked below the window in case they had heard her, her mind racing furiously. Omigosh! Was Cesia actually not insane like she had thought?

"Well, whatever the case may be, you should make it up with him before your next expedition together. Having all that tension between you can affect your work. It's best to get it all out of your system."

Kitchel's breathing sped up and her vision became a slightly hazy. Wow! She could make some money off this with some well-placed bets if this was true!

"Well, I'm not going to be the one to apologize first!"

"Pride will get this whole affair nowhere, Thatz. You need to learn to show a bit of submission. It makes the aggressor feel like they've accomplished something and they're much kinder and prone to listen to you."

"Is that the reason behind why you're always so relaxed and laid-back and how you never let anything really get to you?"

"Oh yes. I always make up with my co-workers. It gets Alfeegi off my back so that he's not breathing heavy down my neck anymore and I feel like a million gold pieces afterwards."

"Ok, fine. Let me finish my half of the milfy then I'll go jump him and get it over with."

Outside, Kitchel's nose broke forth a river of red blood in a fantastic nosebleed.

oOoOoOo

Raseleane was humming merrily as she worked on her embroidery which was a depiction of Swan Lake. Lykuleon sat nearby, sipping tea that Cernozurna was serving and reading the _Draqueen Daily_, taking a well-deserved break from kingly duties.

Raseleane didn't really know what set her off on her particular train of thought—perhaps it was when she realized she hadn't seen Ruwalk at all that day and couldn't help thinking back to the conversation Cesia had eavesdropped on.

"Lykie-dearest," she asked, finally as a certain question persisted nagging at her and would not relinquish its hold. "Have you seen Ruwalk today?"

Raseleane noted that Cernozurna took her time with tea-cart, keenly interested on finding out as well.

"Ruwalk?" Lykuleon said, looking up from his newspaper. "He looked exhausted after his session with Alfeegi so I gave him some time off to recuperate and pull himself together."

"His session?" Raseleane repeated in a flustered voice.

"With Alfeegi?" Cernozurna finished looking flushed.

"I just felt so sorry for him. Alfeegi really ran him ragged this week. I'm surprised he can still stand."

Cernozurna let out a small squeal and knocked over the teapot from its tray, sending it crashing to the floor.

"Oh, oh, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, mopping up the mess with a rag with a glazed feverish expression.

Raseleane, meanwhile, had managed to prick her finger with the needle rather deeply upon hearing the statement and now drops of her blood had slowly seeped into the embroidery dying Swan Lake red, however the Dragon Queen didn't even appear to notice.

"Did you want him for something, Rasie-bear?" Lykuleon asked, looking rather confused.

"No, Alfeegi wants him not me!" Raseleane blurted out before thinking then gave a little shriek upon realizing what she had said.

"He does?" Lykuleon said, blinking in his naiveté. "I'll get a servant to send the message in a short while then as soon as Alfeegi has a chance to de-brief Kai-stern."

"He wears briefs?" Cernozurna squawked.

"And how do you know that?" Raseleane demanded, eyes narrowing at her husband.

Which was the reason why poor Lykuleon was hounded by a multitude more of the oddest questions for the next half hour. Women, he mused later, were quite strange.

oOoOoOo

Delte was being coerced into an uncomfortable situation by Lim-Kana and Tintlett. Apparently they had been more shaken up by Cesia's proclamation surrounding the men of the Dragon Castle than they had led on and wanted to find out the truth about their love interest. However they both were much too chicken to do it themselves, hence Delte being given the task along with death threats if she didn't comply. Delte decided to simply get this whole ludicrous situation over with as soon as possible and then maybe cast a curse or two on Cesia for causing the whole pandemonium (she had heard the girl was rather susceptible to them).

She found Rune out in the palace gardens practicing his healing powers on a patch of dried up ground and aware of Lim-Kana and Tintlett hiding behind a row hedges nearby, opted that a direct approach would be for the better.

Clearing her throat to announce her presence she greeted, "Hello, Lord Rune." She had never quite kicked the habit of addressing the former elfin prince by any other title.

"Oh, hi, Delte," Rune smiled up at her. "Am I needed at the castle?"

"No, I just wanted to ask you something," she said, thinking carefully of how to phrase her question before continuing. "Lord Rune, you and the other two Dragon Knights are very close, aren't you?"

"What? Oh yeah, they're like my brothers. My two annoying, yet can't-live-without-them brothers," Rune stated in an exasperated but fond tone.

_See, Cesia? You're off your rocker_, Delte thought before pushing a bit further.

"And who would you say you're closer to, Rath or Thatz?"

"Hmm? Well, I've know Rath longer since he was little, but Thatz has grown on me too. I guess we're all pretty close" Rune said, scratching his head puzzled.

Knowing the two elf fangirls wouldn't be satisfied until she got a clear answer, Delte switched tactics.

"So, if you were trapped on a desert island, who would you chose to be your companion?"

Rune looked positively baffled by now.

"I dunno. Rath? He'd kill off all the demons and other threats and wouldn't eat all the food we needed to survive in one day like Thatz."

"Oh, so you see Rath as a protector then?" Delte inquired, her own interest peaking now.

"He's a Dragon Knight," Rune said pointedly as if she had forgotten. "That's his job. What's all this about anyway?"

"Right," Delte said coughing and a rustling in the hedges a few yards away indicated the girls were getting restless. That wasn't a good sign. She needed to step it up a notch to make sure the elf wasn't playing coy with her.

"Well, it's just that there's been word of you having some trouble on your last expedition and Thatz seems to be the culprit—"

"What?! Is that over-pompous swine going around and boasting about it now?!" Rune exploded, leaping to his feet in a rage. "I bet he's strutting around telling everyone what a big man he is and how I was reduced to nothing but tears, screaming and pleading like some damsel in distress—"

Delte gaped, her eyes bugging out and her ears couldn't quite believe what they were hearing. Cesia had been right? That was so infuriating and yet this…was so incredibly _hot_.

"He swore to me he'd never tell anyone what happened!" Rune fumed. "Of course he lied! Because he wants to prove how extremely masculine he is! Did he also clarify that I was tied me up with rope so I helpless to defend myself?!"

Delte, who had lost her sense of speech, could only shake her head dumbly, the blood rushing furiously to her cheeks.

"That's right! There I was, laid out like some kind of sacrifice and the jerk can only focus on his own needs and I'm bleeding something awful and he has the gall to tell me it was my fault for squirming around so much! I was limping for days afterwards!"

Delte felt a small trickle of something wet slide out of left nostril and cupped her hands around her nose quickly.

"Where is the two-faced jackal anyways?!" Rune demanded, looking very deranged. "I'm going to march right up to him and whack him so hard he won't be able to remember his own name! Then I'm going to run him straight through with my sword so he can see what it feels like to be the one on the other end!"

Delte gave a little yelp of elation at the image and turned tail and ran, ignoring Rune's shouts behind her and didn't stop until she had taken refuge behind the cover of the hedges where she came across Tintlett and Lim-Kana having their own pity party, clutching each other tightly and sobbing hysterically at their loss.

Of course this meant she couldn't curse Cesia like she originally had intended, but somehow that didn't really matter anymore.

oOoOoOo

Cesia was sulking as she stalked down the halls of the Dragon Castle and moodily wondered where everyone had gone. The palace seemed to be devoid of any potential intriguing male conversation whatsoever today and she could only assume it was because of the doubting idiot females had opened her mouth and told them how crazy Cesia was. Well that was just perfect! They had probably moved even deeper into the closet now that they knew someone was onto them! How was she going to catch them now?

"I really don't see why you have to practically be dying to come to me, Rath. Am I that intimidating?"

Cesia froze. Ooh, yes, yes! That had been a male voice speaking and it appeared to be addressing the Fire Dragon Knight in a rather suspicious manner! Now where the heck was it coming from? Cesia glanced about frantically trying to find the source.

"I wouldn't have come if Thatz hadn't forced me to," came Rath's sullen reply.

There! That door up ahead to her right! The doctor's office! The person speaking must be Dr. Avis Rara! Cesia hurried to the door, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste and pressed her ear against it eagerly.

"Now, now, Rath. We must keep up our health, remember. You should be grateful to your friend for making you come."

_Kyaaaah! _Cesia squealed inwardly. Omigosh, was Thatz doing both Rune and Rath at the same time? She supposed she really shouldn't be surprised. After all, Alfeegi was doing both Kai-stern and Ruwalk.

"Now what seems to be the problem with you, Rath?"

"Do get some kind of sick pleasure saying my name in every sentence you utter?"

"Oh, you don't like me saying your name, Rath? I think it is one of the most beautiful names in existence: Rath, Rath, Rath."

"Shut up, you freak! That's creepy!"

"Rath, are you in need of a psychiatrist as well as a doctor? You seem to have a stored up pile of suppressed emotions."

"All I have is a stupid cold! It's not going to kill me—I have a special life force! I'm out of here!"

Cesia scrambled away from the door, glancing about for some place to hide, however she didn't need to as Rath never made it to out of the office.

"Hey, let go of me, you weirdo!"

"We really should do an examination of your body before we let you leave, Rath. We cannot allow you go without protection any longer!"

Cesia nearly fainted at that statement and pressed her nose into the crook of her elbow to stop the flow of blood pouring out.

"Do you always refer to yourself in the third person?! And I'm not going to subject myself to you and your perverse interests! _Let go!"_

There were the sounds of objects crashing then, frenzied scuffling then the sound of a thud as someone's body hit the floor…or was pinned there.

Omigosh! What was going on?! She had to seeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Cesia scuttled swiftly back to the door and peered into the keyhole trying to see the scene inside as best as the small opening allowed…and was suddenly yanked backwards when a pair of hands cupped around her mouth and another pair spun her around.

Cesia bit back a startled scream when she saw herself staring at a red-faced Kitchel and Delte.

"Would you _mind?_" she hissed angrily, pushing their hands away. "I'm in the middle of something I can't afford to miss!"

"You were right!" Kitchel bayed. "Oh sweet Dusis, were you right!"

"Meeting, now!" Delte managed to gasp out and together the girls hauled Cesia to her feet and dragged her kicking and wailing down the hallway away from the door.

"It's not faaaaaaaair!" Cesia howled and did not stop her caterwauling until they had arrived back at the same room where the first unfortunate 'top-secret meeting of utmost secrecy' had taken place'.

There she discovered a red-rimmed, tear-streaked, indignant Lim-Kana and Tintlett and a blushing Cernozurna and Raseleane, both of whom looked extremely apologetic.

"Oh, Cesia, my darling, can you ever forgive us for doubting your sincerity?" cried the Dragon Queen as she swooped forward and grasped the girl's hands in her hand.

"We have all been deceived!" Lim-Kana bleated miserably while Tintlett sniffled her sorrow into her handkerchief.

"Wait, what?" Cesia asked.

"My dear, we are sorry we thought you had lost your sanity," Cernozurna explained. "We too have stumbled across the truth the hard way."

"Yeah! Kai-stern's in some kind of twisted triangle with Alfeegi and Ruwalk!" Kitchel exclaimed.

Cernozurna and Raseleane backed up her claim by nodding enthusiastically.

"And I fear Lord Rune has been most undone by Sir Thatz!" Delete chipped in, looking as if she might swoon.

Tintlett and Lim-Kana both burst into a fresh myriad of weeping and wailing.

"And I just overheard Rath playing hard to get with Dr. Avis Rara!" Cesia shrieked madly. "Alright, that's it! We can not let them live on with their false charade anymore! They're going to confess out in the open so they don't have to do this hide-go-seek run-about gig that they think has been their shield. By Dusis, we shall not be their scapegoats for proving their masculinity to the world any longer! Who's with me?!"

There was a vigorous outcry of unanimous consent and it was decided to try and force the males out of their stubborn silence at dinner later.

oOoOoOo

"Hey, you think the girls are acting a bit more crazy than usual lately or is it just me?" Thatz whispered in Rune's ear as everyone gathered at the dining table for the evening meal.

Kitchel who had been watching them with the narrowed eyes of a hawk across the table, turned to Delte and had a hushed conversation at the spectacle, while Lim-Kana and Tintlett glared daggers.

Rune merely wrinkled his nose at the ex-thief and turned his head away, pointedly ignoring him to show he was still angry for his previous transgressions.

"Oh come on, not the silent treatment," Thatz moaned exasperated. "What are you, like two?"

Rath arrived then, looking particularly haggard, with his hair mussed up and clothes rumpled, and sat down in his chair as delicately as possible. Dr. Avis Rara followed a few minutes after with a very smug expression on his face.

Cesia choked on her drink at the sight and spent the next several seconds hacking her lungs out.

Ruwalk came next and sat down next to Kai-stern looking as if he was fighting the urge not to bawl like a baby.

"Rough day?" Kai-stern questioned as Alfeegi waltzed in with a lively spring in his step.

"Just tea for me, Cernozurna, please," he said, seating himself. "I always get indigestion after a good workout."

The head maid had a hard time pouring the tea due to her hands shaking with restrained excitement.

The Dragon King and Queen finally made their presence and Cesia allowed everyone a good five minutes head start to ingest as much nourishment as they could, and put up with watching the men oh-so subtly, but surreptiously flirt with each other before at long last having a total breakdown.

"ARGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! WE KNOW YOUR SORDID SECRETS ALRIGHT?! STOP PRETENDING!!!" she screamed in frustration, pounding her fist on the table.

The men all stared at her unblinking, still trying to maintain their air of innocence.

"Cesia, do you feel alright?" Rune finally spoke up.

"OH SHUT UP, RUNE!" Cesia screeched at him like a magpie. "THE CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG! THE ROOSTER HAS CROWED! YOU CAN'T HIDE THE TRUTH ANYMORE! I KNOW YOU AND THATZ DID THE HORIZONTAL POLKA AND HAD A BAD FIRST TIME EXPERIENCE!"

There was a brief moment of interlude where the elf was silent, trying to figure out what she meant, then turned a nasty case of green in the face as the wheels in his head finally clicked into place.

"W-What? Y-You think that I—with t-this—" he stuttered, gesturing to Thatz who was struggling not to choke on a ham-bone after hearing Cesia's proclamation.

"DON'T TRY AND DENY IT! I HAVE WITNESSES WHO HAVE ALSO HEARD YOUR TESTIMONY! YOU GUYS THOUGHT YOU WERE SO CLEVER, DIDN'T YOU?! ALL OF YOU!" Cesia ranted, pointing her finger around the table at all the males. "WELL, WE GIRLS UNVEILED YOUR LITTLE FARCE! WE KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON! ASIDE FROM THATZ AND RUNE'S DISASTROUS EXPERIMENTATION, WE KNOW THAT ALFEEGI'S HAVING CRAZY MONKEY-LOVE WITH BOTH KAI-STERN AND RUWALK LIKE SOME SEX MANIAC, AND WE KNOW THAT DR. AVIS RARA AND RATH LIKE TO LOCK THEMSELVES IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE AND PLAY BONDAGE GAMES! SO ALL OF YOU JUST STOP THE CHARADE AND SOMEONE KISS EACH OTHER BEFORE I GROW GREY HAIR, DAMMIT!!!"

Silence reigned supreme for several minutes as the men gaped at her soundlessly. Thatz and Rune were at a loss for words, all the color having fled from their faces; Alfeegi's left eye was involuntarily twitching and he had frozen with his teacup half-way to his mouth; Ruwalk was caught between expressions of shock and horrified; and Kai-stern was looking very much like he was in pain from wanting to burst out laughing.

Finally Lykuleon broke the quiet hesitantly.

"Oh, is all that true? I'll have to accommodate everyone's rooms to fit their partner in then. Or partners," he added hastily.

Chaos erupted.

"THATZ AND I ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!" Rune squalled, his face redder than a tomato.

"WHERE THE HECK WOULD YOU GET THAT SICK IMPRESSION?!" Thatz demanded.

"WHY DO YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF WILD RAUNCHY DEBAUCHER?!" Alfeegi exclaimed, his eyes a bloodshot red. "I TELL YOU, _IF _I HAD THOSE KINDS OF INCLINATIONS, WHICH I DO NOT, I WOULD NOT CHOOSE THOSE TWO IDIOTS! BY DUSIS, I HAVE HIGHER STANDARDS THAN THAT!!!"

"I WANT GOO-BAAAAAAAH!!!" Ruwalk wailed for his teddy-bear, something he only did when in extreme discomfort.

Kai-stern was too busy laughing hysterically to put forth his own defense.

"Oh my god, someone finally figured out I'm getting daily molested by this pervert doctor?!" Rath breathed in relief. "Save m—_mmmph_!"

"Hahahaha, whatever are you talking about, dear girl?" Dr. Avis Rara laughed, covering Rath's mouth with his hand. "It's nothing more than the usual check-up and sometimes Rath can be quite uncooperative. He's a very naughty boy."

Accusations and rebuttals flew back and forth across the table, the food now quite forgotten (even to Thatz). Only when it seemed as if it would break out into a full-flung war with every man after Cesia's own neck, did Lykuleon attempt to get things under control.

"Now settle down, everyone. Settle down," the Dragon King ordered before turning to the half-demon girl. "Cesia, I'm sure you have a valid reason for suspecting these allegations, correct?"

So Cesia laid her cards out on the table, sharing each and every conversation she and the other females had overheard and smirked when she had finished, satisfied there was no path now for the men to bluff their way out.

Rune looked positively furious.

"_THAT'S _WHERE YOU GOT YOUR LUDICROUS ASSUMPTIONS?!" he exploded in a fit of righteous fury. "I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE LAST JOURNEY WE DRAGON KNIGHTS TOOK OFF ON AND I GOT STABBED THROUGH THE LEG BY A BLASTED DEMON'S ATTACK AND THATZ WAS NO MEDICAL EXPERT TENDING TO IT SO OF COURSE I WAS LIMPING AFTERWARDS!!! WAS YOUR MIND ALWAYS THIS MUCH IN THE GUTTER?!"

Cesia felt a slight sweat break out across her forehead as she was momentarily stunned. She couldn't have been wrong, could she?

"Then what was all that about how you 'would be begging to go through it again' and how 'sticky' it was?" Cesia demanded.

This time it was Thatz who chipped in.

"Uh, maybe because there was a band rogue Yokai mucking up a village on their other side of the mountain and Rune wanted to take a short-cut to get there quicker. So we were trekking waist-high across a marsh for three days for Rune spent most of the time sharpening his healing powers. _Of course _he enjoyed that and it was a _marsh_-OF COURSE IT WOULD BE STICKY!"

"YOU SICKO!!!" Rune yelled and sounded close to tears.

A weak little "Oh" was all Cesia could manage.

"Well, well," the girl stuttered, trying to grasp the situation under her control once more. "At least I was right about Alfeegi then, right Kitchel?"

But the girl-thief, ever since it became abundantly clear Cesia was off the mark about Thatz and Rune, had slid down in her seat until her head was level with the table's counter and she was now waving a napkin as a sign for Cesia to surrender.

Cesia, obviously, did no such thing.

"Ruwalk and Kai-stern both admitted on 'how hard you lay it into them' and how the only way to get you off their backs is to 'submit'. I have to say those statements plus your spirited mood after your 'sessions' with them are rather suspicious."

"Has it ever occurred to you," Alfeegi said in a dangerously soft tone, "That perhaps they were being the weak, pitiful, lazy layabouts they are and were whining about me getting on their case about _actually working for once_?!"

"Oh…right," Cesia said, reluctantly conceding.

"As for them 'submitting' just to get me off their back and playing me for the fool," Alfeegi said, casting an ominous glower at his two fellow Officers. "They obviously need to be disciplined some more."

Ruwalk _meep_-ed in fear and grabbed at Kai-stern who was sweatdropping nervously.

Cesia reminded herself it wasn't what it sounded like.

"So I guess you were only really trying to help cure Rath of his slight cold and he was fighting you like any scared little child would at visiting the doctor," Cesia guessed, arching one eyebrow.

Dr. Avis Rara beamed and nodded enthusiastically, keeping the Fire Dragon Knight in a firm headlock, his arm covering the young man's mouth as he struggled to escape.

"Typical," Cesia muttered dryly, pouting as all her hopes were dashed upon the rocks and laid bare.

Then she realized she had a much bigger problem as she felt several hot blasting glares directed at her and looked up to see Rune, Thatz, Alfeegi, Lim-Kana, and Tintlet all looking extremely inflamed and knew she only had seconds to appeal to their reason before they let their wrath consume them.

"Now, everyone, just calm down," she said, grinning sheepishly, holding up her hands. "It was a simple misunderstanding of conversations. It wasn't my fault—it made perfect sense in hind sight the way you all shamelessly act around each other."

"I call dibs on ripping out her hair and tearing her fingernails off one by one," Thatz spoke up tersely.

"OFF WITH HER LYING HEAD!!!" Rune roared.

Cesia let out a high-pitched scream and turned tail and ran as fast as she could from her rabid pursuers filled with a raw viscous need for vengeance.

"Well now," Dr. Avis Rara stated to everyone remaining. "I'm off to do another inspection to make sure Rath's last treatment was successful. And by saying that, I do not mean at all that I will be tying him down to the examination table gloriously nude to have my wicked way with him."

Smiling as usual as he stood, dragging Rath up with him and strode deftly out of the room waving good-mannerly.

Everyone was much too embarrassed to think twice about that odd statement and vowed silently to themselves to never believe anything Cesia told them ever again.

**Epilogue**

Shyrendora strode down the dark hallways of the demon castle in Kainalda on the way to Lord Nadil's chambers. Her master would be pleased. Her spies within Dusis had recently reported back to her and had told her of various more weaknesses in the Dragon Lord's kingdom.

She stopped in front of the Demon Lord's doors and raised her hand ready to knock, when a voice from inside made her pause.

"Oh please, Shydy! You do it better than anyone else of my henchmen! You're the only one who does it the way I like it! Pleeeeeeeeease?!"

Shyrendora started when she heard the deep rumble of her brother's voice.

"Very well, then. But only for tonight. I did it five times last week."

Shyrendora jolted in shock and accidentally rapped her knuckled once across the wood in her sudden movement.

"See who that is, would you Shydy and rip their insides out for disturbing me. I don't want any interruptions once we get started. Stopping in the middle is so unsatisfying."

"Yes, My Lord."

Shyrendora stifled a shriek and fairly flew down the hallways, making her getaway.

Shydeman opened the doors and glanced about before closing them and turning back to his lord and saying puzzled, "There's no one there."

Nadil, who was waiting expectantly on his large king-sized bed, scowled at his second-in-command, "Well, hurry up and get back over here. You're trying my patience."

Shydeman obediently walked back over to the Demon Lord's bedside and sat down in a nearby chair. Then sighing exasperatedly, he pulled out giant thick book, opened it and began to read.

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs that set off in the world to make their fortune. The first little pig built his house out of straw. The second little pig built his house out of sticks. The third little pig built his house out of bricks. One night the big bad wolf, who dearly loved to eat fat little piggies, came along and saw the first little pig in his house of straw."

"Oh do the voices, Shydy!" Nadil ordered, clapping his hands excitedly. "No one else ever does the voices!"

Shaking his head, as if he could not believe that once again he found himself in the position of telling the Demon Lord a bedtime story, Shydeman took a deep breath and growled in a gruff voice, "So he said, 'Little pig, little pig, please let me in, or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!'"

oOoOoOo

Lady Jilge, one of the minor Yokai with Nadil's army, was roused out of her slumber by the ringing of that odd contraption the Renkin Wizard had installed so that the officers of demon forces could communicate their sinister plans more efficiently.

Picking it up bleary-eyed, she inquired, "Lady Jilge speaking. Yes?"

"Jilge, tell me honestly," came the hushed, giddy voice of her boss, Shyrendora. "Do you think my brother and Lord Nadil may be having a lust-ridden affair?"

**THE END**

**A/N: Oh my! A DK fic finally and hehe, this one was really long! Sorry, I should stop with the bad puns after subjecting you to reading 19 pages of them. For those of you who do not remember who Sarazar or Jilge are: Sarazar was the Dragon Castle's ghost fortune-teller which Cesia took over her place. Jilge was in Volumes 1-2 (brief appearance in Vol. 6) who tried in various ways (which never worked) to take the Dragon Knights out. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes (my beta is in Happy Happy Sakura Land right now X3 ), but if the characters were a bit OOC (I know Cesia was) I take full responsibility for it. They practically wrote the story themselves though, so I just went along with them. And haha, Cesia's wrong about everyone except Kharl and Rath and no one believes her at all so there shall be no rescue for our poor unfortunate Fire Dragon Knight! XD **

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed it and please do share your favorite parts or lines. Prove to the world the Dragon Knights fans are not an extinct species! **


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